Catching Up...

Lots going on around here.. and posting about it all before now seemed.. well.. possibly detrimental. We had, up until recently, still been working through some remaining issues that were hindering understanding in a few areas. Thankfully, we seem to have worked through what remaining bits of reservations we may have had lingering and are in a much better place with our relationship. I will try to add a little bit to what Penelope wrote.

One thing I should say that I think might be useful to some is that Poseidon and I were very private people before this transition in our lives. We focused pretty exclusively on ourselves and our kids and didn't really have close friends with whom we could share more intimate elements of ourselves. It had been a few years since any poly adventures and meeting O & P, with whom we had so much in common, plus the potential benefits of hot and sweaty fun, was amazing.

It was so easy to fall in love.. this relationship was so much more than the purely physical adventures we'd experienced before. We connected on so many levels.. it just felt right. But in the excitement we didn't recognize a few key differences that have caused some confusion. One of those was that Poseidon and I have the poly philosophy ingrained in us to our cores. Although we recognized that might not the case for O & P, and that they were new to these adventures, I don't think either of us really considered the possibility that it could be just an experimental phase.. that it might be possible to shut that part of our relationship off and go on as if nothing had ever happened in our collective sweaty nakedness. And when that turn came we were indeed confused and left wondering what had happened. Our communication at that point had not yet matured completely to where we could discuss it openly.. and on some levels I'm pretty sure we all just needed some time to breathe and figure out what it was that was going on. Of course the pregnancy was a big part of that and we tried to always respect their needs for time and space to process what was going on. But there were definitely times when we wondered if the pull back may have been caused by us.. or something we had done.. or said.. or whatever. Insecurities have a way of rearing their ugly heads in situations like that.

Another difference we discovered is that (and perhaps this is a universal human trait.. would have to do more research on this) we tend to look at the actions of others and assign our own motivations to them had we performed the same actions. It took some time to figure out that each of us has different perceptions of events based on what our lives have taught us.. and no matter how similar we may be in some areas.. we are different in others. Recognizing that difference in perspective.. the difference in our lenses.. has cleared the way for much better understanding. It's hard enough sometimes for a husband and wife to learn those differences in each other.. but then throw in a second husband and wife.. so now you have four people learning those differences in each other.. and you're bound to run into misinterpretations. It's taken a lot of patience and a strong core friendship to get us through those.

We are learning a lot about what drives us, how we respond to various situations, what the bases for our reactions are. We are all very analytical and love to explore these points so it's been ultimately beneficial to go through this (I think). We're exceptionally lucky in that we are all supportive of each other and can open up completely without feeling like we'll be judged or shunned. I think that strong base friendship has been the key to this whole thing.. it has been the glue that binds us together.